Moltey's Madness: my speech

Moltey's Madness   /   Kind Words   /   Moltey's Emails

Finding myself in Me

1. I am filled with surprises.
2. I am finding my way home on a zebra.
3. Knowing how to work hard is one of life's great mysteries.
4. Silences teach us about ourselves. What did I learn? That I am in fact, Robin Hood.
5. If I you reach inside me, you will find nothing. I am all exterior, no interior.
6. I am not alone. I am an entire army in myself.
7. I am my own carnival.
8. I learned that angels are very close to me.
9. I am a catcher of musical moments.
10. I created the world and put myself in it.
11. Maybe I should start my own fire department. Imagine me a firefighter. Actually, I am closer to a firelighter.
12. Yesterday, there was a five-minute commercial break in my dream.
13. I am a magical flashlight.
14. Moltey has become friends with the foot.
15. This depends on who you are. Are you me?
16. I am truly a shining heap of awesomeness.

    In need of Adventure

17. Time to wage all sorts of wars. Need to locate artillery.
18. This isn't the local supermarket. This is China Town.
19. Zinc roofs attract rats. I have a problem. Must welcome the rat catcher.
20. If there is wood to be chopped, the one to chop it should be me!
21. My meddling fingers make patterns everywhere.
22. I am a MoLT, a MoLT with a BoLT, he dangerous, this MoLT?
23. Oh look, a door. When I see such a thing, I have a great urge to open it. And walk inside. It brings me joy.
24. I am the servant of all things mechanical.
25. Sometimes I arm myself with a leg. Whack.
26. I am eager to annoy you because you are a funny thing.
27. I feel like a laser. I point into the future.
28. I am here to kill water. After water is dead, I will burn fire. Next, who knows?

    On the Worshippers of Boredom

29. If gypsies had a soul, it would go away.
30. Nowadays, everyone is British.
31. Don't mention idiots by name, they are not worth of being remembered.
32. You don't respond to my enthusiasm? You must be bitterness itself.
33. They say I do not make sense. You wonder who they are? The vast majority.
34. From the distance of two feet, you are indistinguishable from a briefcase.
35. I am so regular, that if you pick me out of a line of five people and a briefcase, you would choose the briefcase.
36. If the Earth would fall under my feet, I would not take notice.
37. Everyone is screaming. Must cross them out. Die all!
38. If I cared what you thought, I would listen.
39. Enough killing dimensions. Need to replace you with a cuckoo clock.
40. You never stood up for anything and became nothing.
41. I like darkness. Stuff which happens outside bores me. Better not to see it.
42. I have completely dissolved myself into the background. Am hidden forever now.
43. As I have no first-hand knowledge of his mental capacities to store ridiculously repetitive information, by default, I presume that he is an idiot.
44. I demonstrated how pathetic you are, even if you managed to pull your head through your ass.

    Enlightenment

45. I am rapidly becoming someone else.
46. Maps have no use to me. I will change the world to my liking.
47. Soon I will come. All fish shall be diversified.
48. I have reformed myself. Now I am back to my usual beautiful self, but in brighter colours.
49. I want to grow up to be a tree.
50. My brain vibrates and my power grows.
51. Everyone is drunk, the green is rising, the sky is honey and I make even less sense these days.
52. The wind is in the clouds. A bucket of paint is falling down. A path appears. Now I can answer any question!

    Evil and Trouble

53. Pilgrims are attacking me with laughter.
54. I am trapped in a cactus plantation.
55. Your kind of people have influenced my kind of people. Now we are all perverted.
56. Trouble causes itself. I just happen to be there when it happens.
57. So bright outside. Light just begs to come in your eyes. You would think the light rays are bending just to make you miserable.
58. The dark is also scary. It bit me.
59. I thought my wife was ugly, but then found out she was a woman.

    Harmony and Paradise

60. Anger is perfection.
61. You are in a meadow. Surrounded by raindrops. High voltage everywhere. The world doesn't know such a place.
62. Storms are a happy event. They are a symphony of raindrops.
63. My voice echos everywhere as if I am standing in a room full of mirrors.
64. I whisper to flowers and tell them to grow.
65. I sit with birds and we have lunch. They share with me various pieces of food they find.
66. I donated all my weight to a bank. Now, I am weightless.
67. Today, I learned that Canada is a democratic country so they should pay me to do whatever I want.
68. There might be a method to my madness. Eventually.
69. I am dancing and the world is spinning.
70. I must find agreement between myself and... no one else.
71. To avoid spoiling myself, I let others spoil me.
72. It feels like I sold my soul to the devil to enter this paradise. But one soul is not enough, probably I had to sell other people's souls as well.
73. I lost all my moments of clarity and became a dream machine.
74. Wolf's den is so far North, even the North Pole isn't that North.
75. Fat people deserve to live in storage and only walk out on Christmas day.
76. I wonder how without me can the structures here still stand? Everything must have fell apart. And people too. Must put them back together.

    Insults and Curses

77. My expectations were low, but they were exceeded.
78. The trumpeter is a fat little man. All he does is blow his breath into the trumpet. We should call him some more horrid names.
79. One only needs to look at you and imagine: that in the face of ugliness lurks a duckling.
80. Everyone who you can point at is a freak, but it is rude to point at Moltey.
81. I often suggest otherwise but my remarks are meant to be deceptive.
82. You know what? You are a one-eyed bomb. You wink before you explode.
83. I am going to put some skeletons in your closet.
84. I would have more of a challenge playing a block of granite. But to be compared with a block of granite is praise enough.

    Misfortune

85. The rocks in my rock garden were all white. But all have blackened.
86. You look at the sky with hope. All you get in return is snow in your face.
87. The more I look at it, the more I don't see it.
88. I am not a crop farmer and you are not a crop farmer. What are we doing here?
89. I am my own silhouette.
90. I saw a ghost... or rather, the lack of one.
91. I am alone in the sea of lonely people.
92. I was rearranged and became a shuffled soul.
93. I understood that there was nothing under me and I fell.
94. Did I just humiliate myself like you humiliate yourself?
95. When I face the mirror, I see my back.
96. I started organizing and organized myself into a mess. Must welcome the restorer.
97. The possibly best failed to live up to its expectations.

    Triumph and Justice

98. I have created a skull and put it on my head. Now, I am glowing lantern.
99. I can become a plastic cannon on demand. Or even two plastic cannons.
100. If I was born a spaceship, I'd rise to such heights, that even the stars would be below me.
101. The sky is the ground for those who walk on it.
102. Imagine me a hero? I look so great on a horse, don't I?
103. What was once nothing... will soon become everything.
104. When I will turn myself into a block of wood, people will build furniture out of me.
105. Today, I have bathed in luck and fought off the inconspicuous evil.
106. To rise, one needs to welcome the elevator.
107. From my heights, I look down at the stars.
108. If you think I am mad, know this: I did it to myself.
109. I exceeded myself and the universe crashed.
110. Today, I did beauty to the beast.
111. I want him to know that I live in a miracle of wonders and I am six times golden.
112. The creep I am trying to impress has gone alpha-zeta.
113. My brick soul will soon be built into everyone's home.

     Witty Things

114. Here's an idea: glow in the dark candy, so that you can eat it in the dark.
115. All corridors (except infinitely long and circular ones) end in walls.
116. Don't talk to strangers, especially ones you don't know.
117. If it weren't for zigzags, people would walk in straight lines.
118. Pharmacists live like kings with all those drugs.
119. Cities above permafrost are enchanted with snow all year round.
120. I don't know the first thing about Latin, except that it is spoken in Latin America.
121. They are what they appear, not who they claim to be.
122. I am surely a better reader than you are a writer.
123. A broom is falling. Must duck. No ducks to be found anywhere. Sadly, they are all extinct.
124. They say pictures tell a thousand words, but in fact, a thousand words can tell a whole story.
125. We should go hunt fish at night. With a flashlight of course.
126. Can't be all my fault... I am not a bastard.
127. I fold it in half. I fold it in half again, again and again until it can be folded in half no more.
128. Face appears, crowd follows, riot starts. Safety is in the words.